Of swines and maggots

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The things they don't teach you in school - Friday, January 21, 2005 at 1:35 AM

They say you get stupid after going through 2 years of army. They say after 1 year of mundane routines requiring the use of every part of your body except the brain, brain damage kicks in. I say.... we learn things you don't get to learn in school. Check this out:

1. Every Cloud Has its Silver Lining.
A classic proverb, but now with a little twist to it. Instead of interpreting this as the light at the end of the tunnel, see it more in the context of the old chinese story of the son who breaks his feet while riding a horse, and turns out has saved himself from enlisting into China's mighty army. In modern context, getting a fever and getting medical leave from school. Well, previously i reluctantly promised my soul brudder Sid to conduct SOC next tuesday. It's gonna be messy as it's in another camp, so preparation will be a bitch. HOWEVER, turns out everything has been done, except minor stuff like recce-ing the ground etc., and i get to skip the 100 km training the same day! If you know me, there's nothing i hate more than running. Other than duties. And work. And my boss. So... *tada*, every cloud has its silver lining.

2. Nice Guys Finish Last.
Either an old pessimistic saying, or a green day song. Anyway, this should be the quote of the day EVERYDAY in every SAF battlion's Routine Orders. Just an advice to pre-enlistees, trainees, kids and whosoever will be crossing the path of the dreaded army: never, ever, ever, ever (x infinity to the power of infinity), make yourself indispensable to your superiors. Simply put, just an example, one of my specs self proclaimed to possess substantial knowledge on Adobe Photoshop. Bad move. Now everybody in the battalion throws him assignments and work which requires photoshop. Personally, i think i've experienced some crap like this too. I believe i'm a nice guy (really), and i've always helped everyone whenever i can. So, there's this guy in the Bn whom i've helped, i would say quite a lot, with regards to the mess and other misc. stuff. Just yesterday evening while i was at home, he called and require something from me. Something which i didn't have and the way he say macam i must give birth to it before he'll let me off. Finally, he ORDERED me to go back to camp to find it for him. yes, when i'm alrady back home, you want me to travel an hour back to camp, so that you can keep your job, and i can fulfil YOUR responsibilty, yeah? Maybe it wasn't your responsibility, but it isn't mine neither. That's the problem.... this guy, instead of solving the problem, just grabs the nearest NSF to shift the blame. You know something? Screw you. I didn't go back to camp anyway, i just turned off my phone and let him drown in his own blood. Besides, my handphone's for my personal use, not the army's. You can call my housephone if you want to. Anyway, to the piece of crap, if you're reading this, hencefortgh, i'm avoiding you like the plague.

3. Shit Flows Downwards.
First heard from Kabu, the grand master of anything nonsensical. Anyway, i think it's self explanatory. The majors and colonels are the ground shakers, the work providers. The captains, and other regulars, are the middle men, or so called postmen. They receive the work, and re-allocates it to the NSFs. Cheap labour. Did i mention to whom the credit goes to?

But just like school, army sucks, only a lot more. 3+ months to clear leave, 6 months to ORD. It's a jail sentence the way everyone counts down to their ORD date. Actually.... IT IS! So to those who are going to enter the army, me and my pink IC will be luffing at you, waving to you goodbye as you take that ferry ride to eternal (ok, not eternal but 2 years) doom-dem, in a hellish place we call Tekong. Not being sarcastic, (mabe a little) all the best to ya!

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