The word of the day is douchebag.

It means a bagful of douche. I don't know what a douche is. Actually i'm just making up the meaning.

Douchebag rolls off the tongue pretty nicely.

You lose an all-in hand at texas hold 'em, you shout "douchebag".

ronal-"smelliest-douchebag-of-all"-do scores another goal, you scold him "douchebag".

The auntie puts hum in your char kway tiao when you clearly ordered "no hum"... douchebag.

If "cellar door" is supposed to be the nicest sounding term in the English language, douchebag, er, bags the awards for the dodgiest sounding one.

Try it

I finally received my letter for appeal against a traffic fine issued to me 2 months ago. Background: Apparently, i parked my car within 3 metres of a hydrant, outside a friend's house. I thought it was maybe 2.5m, but not close until i was blocking the damn thing.

Needless to say, it got rejected. First of all, the letter is 2 months late, meaning the money we pay, or people who do pay taxes, has an effeciency rate of 2 months to a simple complaint letter. Also, it was a lost cause the moment my car's license plate number got punched into the system of those conniving ticket aunties/uncles, simply because, traffic tickets probably has a significant input to our nation's overgrowing wealth. Of course, i'm not going to touch on how our nation is able to boast that we can self sustain for the next 10 years totally independently, but fail to feed the poor auntie, who has to climb 4 flights of stairs everyday cos "no money" to upgrade 1 room hdb flats.

And yes, i'm extremely pissed off.

Not only due to the GIVEN fact that all appeals are rejected, but in the manner it was rejected. I shall paraphrase the letter from the thieves "the company".

Says here, they have "reviewed" my case, and have deemed that "the offence had been correctly reported". Yea, by whom? The ticket auntie/uncle with a measuring tape, measuring distance of my car from hydrant? Please.

" 'The Company' takes stringent enforcement action on illegal parking at the location." No shit.

"As such, we regret to inform you that your appeal is not accepted". And you expect me to believe you regret taking free money from me? You schmuck.

"A fresh Notice of Traffic Offence will be issued to you in due course". I can be sure that it'll come faster than 2 months.

"We would like to urge you to make a conscious effort to comply with all the traffic rules and regulations which are made for your own safety and that of other road users". And to cross our greedy palms with money. Thanks in advance for next month's paycheck.

Urge me to make a conscious effort not to break the law? Bollocks i tell you. It's all about the money, never about justice, so don't give me this politically correct bs when you're dipping into my pockets and taking my money, just because the "law" allows you to.

These rejection letters could go as simple as:

"Dear Sir/Madam,

We rejected your appeal, 'cos when there's money to take, who won't take it? I'm sure you understand us as a business organisation, and money comes first before the people.

We appreciate your understanding in the matter, and if you don't, tough.

Cash all checks to the company name above.

It's a pleasure doing business with you, and though we urge you to make a conscious effort to comply with traffic rules, the money's better for us actually. Just don't kill/maim anyone, and we're good.

Your$ Faithfully,
MoneyBag$
"