Of swines and maggots

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WHAT????? - Friday, June 30, 2006 at 11:34 AM

I've just watched probably the most ridiculous match of my life. I AM pretty pissed that the lousier team won, not because i dumped my savings on Argentina, but because the stupid match was screwed up by the ref again. And what better way to vent my frustrations... in words. Hey, better than me going down to the kopitiam with a baseball bat, thrashing all those in german jerseys eh? Anyway, here are the turning points in the match:

3rd minute: The game started in a very fast-paced and aggressive manner. Lukas Podolski was shown the yellow card, to the displeasure of the tens of thousands of german fans in the stadium. The first mistake by the Slovakian ref, Lubos Michel, whom at the heat of the moment, probably forgot about the thousands of euros Jurgen Klinsmann had promised him to swing the match in the german's favour. Good thing it was still early in the match... more than enough time to undo the damage.

49th minute: Ayala scores a magnificent goal from a well taken corner from Riquelme. Jens Lehmann dropped to his left, but all he got in his palms was German soil. (Sucker.) 1-0. All German eyes on the ref, reminding him that it was either a german win, or world war 3. "Hey, we started 2 wars, we can always do it again". Money was no longer the ref's concern... now, his life was.

62nd minute: David Odonker comes on for Schneider, a brilliant move by the German coach. Yes yes, i know Odonker STUNK. He made quite a number of runs, and only less than a handful got him past his marker, and ALL his final crosses FLOPPED. But the move was brilliant cos Odonker proved to be one heck of an obnoxious player. Practically complaining about everything, from "fouls" to throw-ins... I was just waiting for Maradona and his gangster posse to go onto the pitch and give him one good one on the face.

71st minute: Injury to the Argentinian keeper, forcing a substitution to bring on Leo Franco. Key event, because...

80th minute: Goal by Miroslav Klose. Header. Wasn't very weak, but still dun understand how the keeper didn't keep it out. My neighbour's chihuahua, yes, with it's cute tiny little paws, could have done better than that. 1-1. *Pui*

88th minute: German defender Philip Lahm made a rash sliding challenge on Maxi Rodriquez jsut inside the penalty box. Took out the Argentinian without winning the ball. Clear penalty, clear decision by the referee... yellow card for Rodriguez, for simulation. Clear decision? OF COURSE! GERMANS ARE PAYING THE REF MONEY, HOW MUCH CLEARER A DECISION CAN THAT BE???? I have to applaud the ref though, it was brilliant acting from him. The yellow card was flashing so instantly, it really looked like the dude was actually convinced it was a dive. Anyway, as the ref ran over to Rodriguez, Luhm gave the ref a thumbs up sign, and probably said something like "Good one. i'll put in a good word for you and see whether they might raise the bribe." Scoreline still 1-1. Germany + a Slovakian 1, Argentina 1.

Anyway, the match was too disgraceful for me to speak of now. You can be sure that all the Germans in the world plus one Slovakian who's laughing his way to the bank are partying through the night.

FIFA has already sent out so many under-performing-almost-to-the-point-of-corruption refs, that it makes me think that it's a conspiracy. Whether it's to boost the host nation's chances, or for money, the refs have had so many disappointing performances, it's almost time they had a good one. Statistically it HAS to happen. Unless Germany still has the resources to keep FIFA and its referee's wallets' fat and healthy.

So now, we'll just wait for Italy to beat Ukraine, irritate the germans with their boring tactics, beat them, then we'll have a remake of the 94 World Cup... Italy VS Brazil. Unless England does something drastic to improve their game.

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